Director: Ben Wheatley
Stars: Wu Jing, Jason Statham, Sophia Cai
If you’re bugging out at Ben Wheatley’s name on the masthead for this movie, you’ve got an even less likely credit lying in store for you. That being “Based on the Novel by Steve Alten”. Yes, in spite of the mad flippancy of both the core concept and trailer, Meg 2: The Trench is a literary adaptation (much as the first one was!). Such lofty aspirations can be the only reason it takes itself so bafflingly seriously.
Chugging away to Heart’s “Barracuda”, the heavily promoted trailer for Meg 2 sold the movie on its goofiness, pushing the assumption that it was leaning into the schlock legacy of the killer shark movie. From the dusty bottoms of DVD bargain bins to the glorious highs of crossover trash like Alexandre Aja’s Piranha 3D. Indeed, it teased us with what looked to be a very similar shoreline massacre sequence.
That stuff exists here, but only at the very end, and with a significantly different tone applied; a tone of inexplicable earnestness. Wheatley’s giant shark attacks aren’t backed by rollicking hair metal classics, but by Harry Gregson-Williams’ moody score. Don’t get me wrong, there are many knowingly stupid incidents throughout Meg 2: The Trench, but the movie is frequently at a loss as to how to pitch them.
It’s an understandable muddle to be in. Go too serious and you risk becoming unintentionally funny. Be too flippant and, well, you’re just another irksome B-movie nakedly begging for change. The middle ground is hard to find with this type of material. It’s enough to make me morbidly curious as to how Alten’s books read.
Not too curious though. After a rather flat prologue that takes place 65 million years ago for a limp joke with a T-Rex that we’ve been exposed to countless times already, Meg 2 settles down – deep down – at the bottom of the ocean for a good hour. Jason Statham returns as Jonas Taylor, now an eco-warrior version of James Bond (according to his mate Mac (Cliff Curtis)), who is invited on an expedition into that titular Trench thanks to some nifty technological advances. Sneaking along with him is the 14-year-old daughter of Suyin, who evidently didn’t survive the 5 year interim between movies. Fortunately, precocious Meiying (Sophia Cai) is among the least obnoxious kids to have been smuggled into an action blockbuster in quite some time. Indeed, the amiable cast of characters surrounding Statham amount to the best reason to see this misadventure through to the end.
Because that first hour is a bit of a chore, remixing material we’ve seen many times over with little new to add to the tired Jules Verne bit. The unfolding predicament is most immediately reminiscent of William Eubank’s underseen and underappreciated 2020 joint Underwater, albeit a far murkier retread. Here – as for most of the film’s two hour running time – the CGI megalodons are little more than briefly-glimpsed window dressing as Meg 2 concerns itself gravely with its eco-minded sermon.
That’s all dropped for the sprint to the end, however, when we resurface for an all-out assault on the Pacific paradise of, *checks notes*, Fun Island – a locale somewhere in the region of the Philippines where all manner of beasties rise up to ruin some holidays. This is undoubtedly where the fun is, and particularly any scene involving the hapless DJ (Page Kennedy) and his miraculous backpack. But what’s most laughable is how quickly Meg 2 drops any of its prior concerns for its protracted pyrokinetic showdown. More than ever the first hour and its interests feel like padding to stretch things out.
There’s just about enough of a good time here to make it excusable. Wheatley’s CG beasts and their behaviour lack inspiration. These tricks are too old now, and their rendering here is competent but little more. This is his opportunity to flex on a much bigger budget – and another Chinese co-production like the first movie – but its telling that he’s most confident with either genuine physicality (a close-quarters fight on the deck of a container ship early doors is the most adept bit of action here) or when focused on character bits with his roster of comedically adept actors.
The further Meg 2 moves into hastily (i.e. poorly) edited action spectacle heavy on CG assistance, the shoddier it becomes. Some of these set pieces are so thoroughly condensed that time within them becomes utterly meaningless. The material that is handed to Chinese action star Wu Jing, for instance, is frequently the most baffling and visually grotesque.
It’s hard to bash Meg 2: The Trench too hard because this kind of material is largely impervious to serious critical analysis. But Wheatley’s effort is too often strangely self-serious in direct contrast to its tongue-in-cheek marketing. It makes it an odd affair and ultimately a bit of a cumbersome dud, though not quite to the same extent as his disastrous (and largely forgotten) Rebecca remake for Netflix. If he is adhering to the one-for-me, one-for-them mandate subscribed to by some jobbing directors over the years, then whatever’s next is probably – hopefully – going to be a more promising bet.
As it is, this one isn’t really for anyone.
The Lost Highway Hotel 