Review: The Nun II

Director: Michael Chaves

Stars: Bonnie Aarons, Taissa Farmiga, Storm Reid

Bad as The Nun was (and lets not kid around here or get caught up in short-term nostalgia, it sucked), there was some hope that this belated, largely unwanted sequel episode in the Conjuring Universe might be worthwhile. That hope had a name. Akela Cooper; the dynamic scribe who’s work already spiced up the likes of Malignant and M3GAN. That one-two punch of knowing hysteria has already made her something of a Great Hope, or even a brand unto herself, and that her name adorns not just the script but the story credits for The Nun II raised expectations accordingly.

Alas, however, the resulting film is not a breakaway from the franchise’s tired methodology but rather a doubling-down on most of its worst habits (pun intended), suffering many of the same problems that dogged its predecessor.

Continuing Hollywood’s dubious tour of Europe that has been the ruin of much of this year’s summer season, The Nun II takes us back to 1956, four years after the events of the first film and the scourge of St Cartha is back among the living once more, piggybacking from Romania to France in the guise of French Canadian menace Maurice (Jonas Bloquet; rubbish again). Dubiously dubbed ‘Frenchie’ throughout the first movie, Bloquet’s character is easily the flimsiest in this nine-film franchise, and his importance to The Nun II was conspicuously downplayed in the film’s promo materials. Frustratingly he’s the central figure here, now host to the demon Valak (Bonnie Aarons), and leaving a trail of bodies across the continent before settling down as the help at an all-girls’ boarding school.

Sent after him is Taissa Farmiga’s Sister Irene, now a fully-fledged nun, still scarred from her memories of battling this foe the first time. Nipping at her heels is faithless novice Debra (Storm Reid), presumably so Irene has somebody to talk to.

For it’s first hour The Nun II keeps things in a sort of holding pattern, zigzagging between locales, busying itself with flat character work and a litany of the most annoying cheap jump scares it can manufacture. Valak’s nun routine was so effective as a ‘bit’ in The Conjuring 2, but fleshing that out into a more engaging – or even threatening – villain continues to stump these movies. Mostly she’ll appear on cue with a deafening sound barrage before vanishing into the murk again. And again. And again.

Cooper and recurring series director Michael Chaves seem to have taken all the wrong lessons from The Nun‘s financial success, leaning into its legacy traits; quiet-loud-quiet-loud Scooby Doo antics, Indiana Jones-lite missions to retrieve religious relics, fucking Frenchie again and not a lot else. This was an opportunity to shake the Etch-A-Sketch, as it were, and re-draw this menace from the ground up. Instead, The Nun II mostly traces the previous outline, but more slowly.

Granted, as is Cooper’s inclination, things let loose a bit come the third act, and there’s some mildly more ingenious efforts to rekindle our interest here, with a rambunctious horned beast and a nifty take on wine as the blood of Christ… but it arrives far too late in the process. The Nun II treads water for too long before turning it into wine. Ultimately its half-hearted proxy scares are too familiar, strongly reminiscent of the first Annabelle film (another example of a neat menace from a big brother feature that struggled to feel at home by itself).

This is Michael Chaves’ third feature for the Conjuring Universe (after The Curse of La Llorona and The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It), his third middling effort and the least of all of them. If this franchise is to perpetuate (and a mid-credits sting sincerely suggests that this is the intention), it might be past time for a changing of the guard. At least this particular entry ends somewhat conclusively, negating – one hopes – the need for another round with this sorry sister.